


Our Broken Fairytale

by SeraphStarshine



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Depression, Dom/sub, Homophobia, M/M, Mental Abuse, Physical Abuse, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide Attempt, fear of touch, not the super smutty oneshot i thought I would write but i love this one so much, this got long af
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-06-03 00:53:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6590047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeraphStarshine/pseuds/SeraphStarshine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>If someone had told the past version of Gerard that he would one day be in a happy, loving dom/sub relationship, he would have laughed in their face, hell - he never imagined he would even be able to find a man that wanted to date him at all. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>He didn't think that anyone would be able to look past all of the baggage he carried with him, or take the time to actually try to help him bear it, but Frank had - Frank did, and fuck - Gerard was so fucking grateful to him for being there just when he needed him most, for healing the old wounds on his heart which were finally beginning to disappear.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our Broken Fairytale

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably one of my favorite one-shots I have ever written.

Gerard hadn't had the easiest life, in fact, there was a point when he seriously considering ending his existence before it had a chance to do him any more harm than it already had.

But in moments like these, when Frank would wrap his arms around him and place a gentle kiss to the top of his head, Gerard was so fucking _thankful_ that he hadn't given up, that he had somehow found Frank after years of suffering. It was as if the universe had led him into Gerard's path in the way of an apology for all of the horrors he had been through.

"I'm gonna go shower, I want you upstairs when I'm done," Frank murmured lowly, waiting for Gerard's nod of affirmation before walking away, his hands pulling at the buttons of his shirt as he went.

Gerard stared after Frank fondly, knowing that he had about thirty minutes before Frank would be finished washing up. He always took so long in the shower, which was something Gerard didn't understand. His own hatred of the act led him to spend as little time under the stream of water as possible, unless Frank was in there with him that was.

But Frank hadn't asked him to join him this time, so Gerard reclined back onto the sofa, only half paying attention to The Office which he and Frank had been watching together earlier.

A strange sense of nostalgia overtook him as his eyes became unfocused and blurry, probably caused by the fact that it was almost a year ago to the day when Frank and Gerard's relationship had started.

That seemed so long ago now, that was back when Gerard had been terrified of everything and everyone before Frank managed to show him that there was still good in the world if he only looked hard enough.

If someone had told the past version of Gerard that he would one day be in a happy, loving dom/sub relationship, he would have laughed in their face, _hell_ \- he never imagined he would even be able to find a man that wanted to date him at all.

He didn't think that anyone would be able to look past all of the baggage he carried with him, or take the time to actually try to help him bear it, but Frank had - Frank _did_ , and _fuck_ \- Gerard was so fucking grateful to him for being there just when he needed him most, for healing the old wounds on his heart which were finally beginning to disappear.

~~~

Gerard's life had resembled a cliché sob story from the beginning, starting with his mother passing away in childbirth, leaving his father with a son that he could barely stand to look at without being reminded of the woman that he had killed with his entrance into the world.

Even at a young age, Gerard was aware that his father didn't treat him the way his classmates' parents did. He didn't greet him with a hug when picking him up from school - in fact, he forced Gerard to ride the bus as soon as he was able to - he didn't attend any of his plays, he didn't take Gerard fishing, or teach him how to ride a bike, or _anything_ really.

In general, his father seemed dead set on pretending that Gerard didn't exist, which in hindsight was much better than the alternative.

But as unhappy as Gerard was when his father turned a blind to his presence, he found himself yearning for those days once he grew into his teenage years.

He then realized that his father was doing more than just wounding Gerard mentally in his free time, he was also destroying himself by drinking large amounts almost every evening, losing job after job, barely being able to pay the bills with what was left of Gerard's mother's life insurance. He was basically running himself into the ground without any attempt at stopping his downward descent.

Gerard's father was a shell of a man, and as much as Gerard hated him, especially when he began knocking Gerard around occasionally, he also felt as if he deserved the abuse.

This was all his fault after all, at least, that was what he had been raised to believe, and the falsity was too deeply ingrained in his mind to ever leave by this point. Each punch and slap enforced that until Gerard began to despise himself even more than he did his father.

Gerard stopped trying to compare himself to his classmates at that point, because they weren't like him, they were good people, and so they had lives which reflected that. Gerard no longer wished to be taken away by a loving family that would provide him with everything he had been missing out on.

That fantasy had been ground under his father's heavy heel, so now Gerard accepted whatever came his way, hiding his bruises the best that he could and holding back tears when his father would scream obscenities in his face, his liquor coated breath filling Gerard's nose and causing him to gag more than once.

But he kept a straight face through it all, never letting on to the fact that he was slowly dying inside.

~~~

The worst day by far was when Gerard's school called home, informing his father that he had been caught skipping class, and not only that, but kissing a boy as well - which he had been.

The cute new kid in his study hall period named Ryan had managed to convince Gerard to bunk off with him, and Gerard was so short on friends that he didn't think twice before sneaking out, not wanting Ryan to instantly assume that Gerard wasn't worth his time.

Gerard was pretty sure he was gay by this point, not that he had ever been given the chance to explore his sexuality before, but he had always found boys prettier than girls.

He leapt at the chance to spend time with Ryan, because he was gorgeous, and even if he wasn't interested in men, Gerard couldn't deny his initial attraction to him, so just being noticed by him had Gerard's stomach churning with what he could only describe as butterflies.

Ryan hadn't been at their school long enough to learn to avoid Gerard like everyone else had, and even though he would most likely figure it out sooner or later, maybe Gerard could manage to make a good enough first impression that he would stick around, or maybe not, but Gerard didn't want to think about the future right now, so he chose to live in the present.

Ryan immediately grabbed Gerard's hand once they had exited the classroom, dragging him outside into the abandoned courtyard, his small giggles breaking up the sound of their footsteps as they sprinted toward their temporary freedom.

They ensconced themselves behind a nearby wall, hiding their bodies from any prying teachers that might be lurking about, gazing around nervously to make sure that their impromptu escape hadn't caught the attention of someone in a position of authority.

"Thanks for coming with me," Ryan grinned, digging in his bag for a pack of cigarettes, handing one to Gerard who eyed it suspiciously before taking it gingerly.

"No problem," Gerard mumbled, his eyes gazing down at his scuffed up shoes as Ryan's knees brushed against his own.

"No - _seriously_ , it was really sweet of you," Ryan insisted, holding up his lighter to the end of Gerard's cigarette, a bubbly laugh emitting from his chest as Gerard hacked painfully once he inhaled the acrid smoke. "I knew you seemed like the kind of person who would skip class with me, and I really need the company right now."

And even though Gerard wasn't sure what had led Ryan to this assumption, because he didn't think he looked like a rule breaker, he simply hummed in affirmation, letting Ryan do all of the talking as he tried not to cough too loudly while sucking on his first cigarette idly.

Ryan went on to explain how much he hated it here, and how unfair he thought it was that his mother had forced him to move just because she had divorced his father. She had made him leave everyone he knew behind, including his boyfriend Brendon, who had broken up with Ryan on their last day together, claiming that long distance relationships never worked, although he still loved Ryan supposedly.

Gerard listened intently throughout Ryan's tirade, feeling a kinship to the boy who seemed just as unhappy as he was, even though it was for different reasons, but _still_ \- Gerard could relate to Ryan.

He shared his anger, his hopelessness, his misery, but he didn't know how to convey that in words, so he found himself shyly grasping Ryan's hand instead, linking their fingers when Ryan smiled down at him in appreciation.

Gerard hadn't planned on kissing Ryan that day, or _ever_ actually. It was obvious that he was still caught up on Brendon, but when the topic somehow turned to Gerard, leading Ryan to discover that Gerard had never been in a relationship, or even been kissed for that matter, Ryan suggested that he help Gerard out with the second problem at least, slating their mouths together when Gerard gave him a slow nod in return, his warm lips pressing against Gerard's as he melted into the intimate act.

For a first kiss, Gerard was pleasantly surprised. Ryan really knew what he was doing, and Gerard loved the way he tasted, the way he ran his tongue over Gerard's chapped lips, the way his long fingered hands came up to tangle in Gerard's hair when he whimpered softly.

But _of course_ , a teacher had to walk around the corner they had secreted themselves in just then, her startled exclamation pulling the two boys apart a few seconds too late to save themselves from her wrath.

They had both been giving detention for skipping, as well as their public display of affection, but the call home was what Gerard was dreading the most.

He knew he should have avoided his father entirely that night, even if it meant sleeping on a park bench or something drastic like that, but Gerard didn't, only because he had no idea how bad his punishment was truly going to be.

Gerard's father was waiting for him in the living room, an almost empty bottle of Jack Daniel's balanced on his thighs, his bloodshot eyes stopping Gerard in his tracks when they landed on him. Gerard's soft whimper of fear only seemed to exacerbate his father's anger to a dangerous level.

"So you like boys do you?" his father asked, the calmness to his tone scaring Gerard more than anything else could, even yelling would be better than this.

"I - uh..." Gerard stammered out, tears clogging his throat as he tried to think of something to say to get himself out of this mess, but as usual, his mind instantly went blank.

"Shut up," his father snapped, slamming his hand down on the nearby coffee table with a surprisingly loud bang. "So it wasn't enough for you to be a fuck up in everything else, you just had to want it up the ass too."

"I'm sorry..." Gerard apologized, a hot spike of pain erupting across his face when his father backhanded him suddenly, the blow almost knocking him to the floor with the force of it.

"Oh you are now?" his father sneered, the dark shine in his irises inspiring Gerard to shuffle backward as quickly as he could, but that was obviously the wrong thing to do.

His father quickly snagged him by his shirt, throwing him to the floor roughly before straddling his back, keeping Gerard pinned down as he cried out in pain.

"Please stop," Gerard begged, his eyes welling over when his father yanked his arm backward, pulling so hard that Gerard felt his shoulder pop out of the socket.

"I bet you don't say that to whoever you are fucking, I bet you love it when they are rough with you," his father hissed, tugging harder on Gerard's damaged limb, releasing a tortured scream from him in the process.

"No - it was just a kiss, I'll never do it again...I promise," Gerard heaved out, his lungs burning as his vision began to spark at the edges.

"Whatever - go ruin your own life, I don't give a shit," his father huffed, finally releasing Gerard with one last twist of his injured arm.

He stormed off into the kitchen soon after, presumably in search of more liquor, leaving Gerard alone with nothing but his loud sobs for company as he muffled his face against the scratchy carpet in the hopes of escaping any more negative attention.

Gerard eventually made his way back up to his room once his father had returned to his prone body, sharply forcing his socket back into the joint so Gerard wouldn't have to go to the hospital, but even after everything was in the right place once more, Gerard still couldn't stop crying, the burning agony in his arm was secondary only to the ache in his heart.

Gerard never talked to Ryan again after that day, even though a part of him wanted to, but he couldn't look at the boy without being reminded of what his father had done to him, and although the injured looks Ryan shot him out of the corner of his eye in study hall caused Gerard's breath to catch painfully in his chest, the guilt was nothing compared to what his father would do to him if he allowed himself to get close to Ryan, and eventually, Ryan gave up on him, finding new friends just like Gerard knew he would.

Gerard refused to get close to anyone from then on, pushing away the rare classmate that actually wanted to talk to him, only speaking when he had to during group projects and such.

A few people didn't allow that to stop them, namely a student in nearly all of his classes named Pete who didn't seem to be able to take a hint to save his life. He presumably had latched onto Gerard without his permission because they had both been deemed misfits thanks to their appearances and oddities.

Still, Gerard kept him at arm's length, and he managed to remain mostly aloof for the remainder of his high school years.

~~~

Gerard never thought he would escape the endless cycle of destruction he found himself trapped in.

Nothing helped the pain, not the alcohol he stole from his father, trying to cope in the same way he did, not the drugs he managed to purchase from people he probably shouldn't have been acquainted with, not the blade he had pressed to his wrist after the endless taunts involving the word _'emo'_ inspired him to see if that method truly worked - _nothing_.

So when Pete inquired as to why Gerard's cheek was so swollen for the third time that month, Gerard brushed it off just like he always did, but Pete didn't drop it like everyone else.

He kept pestering Gerard, asking if he was okay, promising that he could open up to him if anyone was hurting him, and _finally_ \- Gerard snapped, revealing all of his secrets a week before graduation in a torrent of choked sobs and sputtering gasps for air.

Pete immediately sprang into action, shocking Gerard with his desire to help him, because Gerard didn't understand how anyone could actually care about what happened to him, but apparently Pete did.

He all but forced Gerard to move into the apartment he had recently rented in preparation for college, helping Gerard gather his scant belongings after cursing his father out while Gerard cowered in the background, swearing that he would call the cops on him if he ever tried to contact Gerard again.

His father had actually managed to appear apologetic, his whispered _'I'm sorry's'_ almost swaying Gerard's decision once they hit his ear, but Pete didn't give him the chance to second-guess himself, motioning to Gerard to follow him out of his house for the very last time, and Gerard did have to admit that his chest felt slightly lighter once the wooden door had slammed closed behind him.

~~~

Gerard assumed that everything would get better after that day, that he would somehow bounce back from the years of abuse without missing a beat, but of course, nothing was ever that easy.

Gerard found himself completely lost now that he was given the freedom to be on his own, his depression worsening as he struggled to cope with being an adult, with having to work, with taxes, with pretending that he was fine around Pete even when he wanted nothing more than to break down and cry.

Pete tried to help in his own way, convincing his boss to hire Gerard so he wouldn't have to worry about seeking employment on his own, forcing Gerard to come out with him and his friends, thinking that other people would inspire Gerard to suddenly become more social, even attempting to set Gerard up with the plethora of cute boys that he somehow seemed to know, but Gerard couldn't handle it.

It was all too much, too soon, and even the thought of getting into a relationship with someone had Gerard quivering in fear, because that would mean giving them power over him. He had seen what his father had done with that, so it was only logical to assume a boyfriend would do the same thing.

Every time anyone attempted to kiss him, which hadn't been often, or even just hold his hand, Gerard found himself flinching away from any form of physical contact, vivid flashbacks of his father's furious face dancing across his brain despite his efforts at pushing them away, which usually ended up with Gerard in tears, confusing the hell out of the sweet guy that Pete had found for him.

Finally, Gerard refused the offers to spend time with Pete and his friends all together, not leaving his room in their shared apartment unless he absolutely had to.

Gerard quickly lost his job after having numerous emotional breakdowns on the premises, the guilt at not being able to pay his half of the rent adding another weight to the already unbearable load pressing down on his shoulders, and although Pete assured him that it was fine, and he had more than enough to cover it for a few months, Gerard still felt like a failure, which was exactly what his father had always told him he was.

~~~

Gerard tried to kill himself not long after that.

He hadn't truly planned it out, although the idea had crossed his mind more than once, but he had forced it away before it could take root.

Something snapped within him after another failed interview though, coupled with being alone and much too drunk for it only being five in the afternoon.

With Pete out with someone or another for the rest of the day, Gerard had no other outlet in which to drown his sorrows in, so he had stopped by a liquor store before returning to their apartment, polishing off half of the bottle of vodka on the way, managing to evade any police officers that would have been inclined to arrest him for his public intoxication.

Gerard had arrived home with a heavy heart and an aching head, his steps immediately turning to the medicine cabinet in the hopes of procuring some Advil to soothe his growing migraine, but once the cap was twisted off, the colorful pills spilling out as Gerard's hands began to shake, he acted on instinct, shoveling as many of the tablets into his mouth as he could manage without a second thought, chasing them down with the remnants of liquor that he hadn't finished off just yet.

Gerard wasn't sure if the amount he had taken would do any significant damage, so he dug out a few other random bottles Pete had stored away, finding nothing hard enough for what he was trying to achieve, but placing faith in the fact that the cocktail of drugs and alcohol would help him on his way to a world in which he didn't exist anymore.

Thirty minutes later, Gerard's stomach was beginning to churn and his eyelids were drooping downward without his consent which Gerard took as a sign of success.

Gerard debated leaving a note for Pete in the form of an apology, but he couldn't think of anything to say besides _'I'm sorry'_ , which Pete would already know, so instead, Gerard curled up in his bed, hiding himself under the covers as his eyes slipped shut, maybe for the last time.

But _no_ \- not too much later judging by the sun's position, Pete was shaking him awake gently, his mouth moving constantly as Gerard blinked groggily.

Whatever words he was trying to convey to Gerard weren't reaching his ears, they were washed out in the rush of disappointment that was currently smothering Gerard when he realized his impromptu decision to end his life had been a failure.

"Gee." Gerard perked up at the sound of his name, flinching subtly as he brought his body into a sitting position, his insides burning painfully as he forced himself to decipher what Pete was saying to him. "I'm sorry to wake you up, but I just wanted to warn you that I have a friend over."

"Oh...okay," Gerard replied slowly.

He was grateful that Pete had informed him about the additional company. Pete had learned from experience that Gerard didn't react well when startled, so he always filled him in when someone besides himself would be occupying the small apartment they shared.

"You can join us if you want, we were gonna watch a movie," Pete offered, but Gerard shook his head, gritting his teeth when the action induced the sudden urge to vomit, but he pushed it away.

"I'm fine here."

"Gee...you don't look too good, are you sick?"

"No," Gerard answered hurriedly, once again shaking his head for extra emphasis, which only exacerbated the uncomfortable sensation in his stomach to a nearly unbearable level.

"I'm just gonna grab the thermometer and make sure you don't have a temperature."

Gerard groaned loudly in response, but Pete was already vacating the room, his motherly tendencies on full alert right now much to Gerard's chagrin. He usually appreciated the way Pete always looked out for him, but he couldn't let him know that the real reason he felt so awful was because he had swallowed too many pills.

But as Gerard's insides twisted violently, all thoughts of Pete quickly flew out of his head, being replaced by panic as bile rose in Gerard's throat, the burning evolving into an inferno until Gerard was forced to flip over, throwing up everything he had consumed that day onto the carpet loudly, his eyes watering as he gagged weakly, his head pounding so hard he thought it might crack open at any moment.

"Fuck!" Gerard faintly heard Pete curse from the other room, but he was more concerned with not puking again than with whatever was occurring with Pete.

Gerard found himself smiling softly as the pain in his stomach didn't cease, because he had realized that his hasty plan might have worked after all, and even though he felt awful for doing this while Pete was home to witness it, it was simply another item to add to the list of failures Gerard kept in his head, but maybe his death wouldn't be on it.

Gerard collapsed back onto the mattress with a hysterical giggle, his vision blurring slightly as a sudden case of shivers hit him, but Gerard didn't care enough to cover himself up with the nearby blanket.

It hopefully wouldn't matter either way in a few more minutes, that is - if Gerard hadn't thrown up too many of the pills already, but for once in his life, Gerard found himself thinking positively, because there was no way he could feel this terrible without at least being close to overdosing.

"Gerard," Pete's voice was back, just when Gerard thought he was going to be left in peace to fade away, "please tell me you didn't take all of those pills?" Pete begged, but Gerard didn't answer, he couldn't really. His mouth felt fuzzy, his tongue was thick and swollen, and he was sure that any attempt at speech would only end in him getting sick again.

Gerard could hear Pete shaking the mostly empty bottle of whatever he had brought into Gerard's room with him, but he knew that Pete was already well aware of the answer, the horror in his voice showcased that loud and clear.

" _Fuck_ \- fucking hell, holy shit," Pete whimpered, and for one second, Gerard truly wished he could take back what he had done, or at least that he had the decency to do this somewhere where his best friend wouldn't have to be a part of it, but it was too late for that now. "Frank!" Pete screamed, obviously not to Gerard, unless his name had changed in the past five minutes, and maybe it had, but _no_ \- Gerard was just delirious by this point. "Come help me!"

Gerard didn't remember much after that, just random flashes, images that didn't make sense without any context surrounding them. He could recall hands lifting him up, Pete crying, a loud rumble, bright lights, and then nothing except the blessed darkness that Gerard had been searching for his entire life.

~~~

When Gerard woke up, he instantly knew he was alive and in the hospital.

The smell attested to that, as well as the pain he was currently in. Gerard wasn't sure how he felt about this revelation, mostly he was just numb, and even more so than ever he didn't want to deal with the consequences of his actions, although he knew he would be forced to face them very soon.

Gerard almost jumped out of his skin when he heard someone clear their throat softly from beside him, even though it was probably just Pete, or maybe a doctor who had come to lecture him.

But when Gerard turned his head, it was neither of the two previous guesses - instead, he was met with the sight of a black haired boy that he had never seen before.

The stranger's pierced lip pulled into a smile when he caught Gerard's eye, but the expression quickly disappeared when Gerard flinched away, his limbs beginning to tremble with fear, the unfamiliar presence making him uncomfortable and filling him with nervous energy.

"Hey - it's okay, you don't have to be afraid of me," the man whispered in a soothing tone, his hand lifting up as if to touch Gerard's shoulder, but when Gerard shied back even further, he dropped his arm into his lap instantly. "My name's Frank, I'm Pete's friend, he just went out to grab us some food, but he will be back soon."

"W-why are you here?" Gerard managed to stammer out, his confusion over why this person had decided to stay with him outweighing his distaste of talking to men he didn't know.

"Because I was worried about you, and I didn't want you to wake up alone," Frank shrugged like it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"Oh..." Gerard responded lamely, unsure of what else to say without sounding like a complete idiot. "Is Pete mad at me?" Gerard finally ventured to ask, because he had to know if he had ruined their friendship with his selfishness, even though he wouldn't blame Pete if he was furious with him.

"No, you just scared him," Frank answered slowly, his lips pressing together as if he was attempting to hold something back.

"I'm sorry," Gerard whimpered, his eyes brimming with tears that he refused to shed in front of Frank. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"I think I might," Frank spoke slowly, continuing onward when Gerard didn't speak, "and even though I know nothing about you, or what made you feel so awful that you tried to do... _that_ , I'm glad it didn't work, because if it had, that means that whoever hurt you would have won, and you don't want that. You are strong, I can tell, and no matter how much life sucks right now, every day you keep surviving is a big fuck you to everyone that didn't believe in you, and eventually, they won't even matter anymore."

"I - I..." Gerard stuttered out, a few tears slipping past his closed lids, leaving hot tracks down his cheeks as he turned his head away from Frank in a pointless effort at hiding how much his words had affected him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," Frank apologized, his eyes glistening as he stared down at Gerard, which confused him since it looked as if Frank was about to cry as well.

"It's okay, you didn't do anything wrong," Gerard assured him while wiping at his face angrily as he spoke, his tongue twisting in on itself when he tried to thank Frank for his kind sentiment.

"Well...Pete should be back any second now, and even though you probably have a lot of other friends you would rather talk to, I just want you to know that if you ever feel like that again, I want you to text me, call me, _whatever_. I'll pick up, no matter what time it is or where I am," Frank offered, scribbling his number down on a pad of paper sitting on the desk located next to Gerard's bed. "If that's okay with you...you don't have to take it."

Gerard hesitated as Frank held the folded sheet out to him invitingly, but before he could second-guess Frank's intentions, or how this person could possibly give a shit about what happened to him after today, he opened his palm, smiling softly to himself when Frank placed the paper in his hand.

"Thank you," Gerard whispered finally, and even though his words emerged so softly that he could barely hear them, Frank's grin which stretched across his face proved that he had caught Gerard's meaning.

~~~

Gerard didn't see or speak to Frank again for two weeks after he was released from the hospital, and not because he didn't want to, but because he was _scared_.

Frank was the only person in the world besides Pete that seemed to genuinely like Gerard, even though Frank could have just been putting on an act inspired by pity, but _no_ \- Gerard didn't sense any falsity from Frank's end, not yet anyway.

Gerard still felt the urge to end his life on numerous occasions, but every time the thought popped into his head, Frank's words would drown them out, giving Gerard an inner strength he didn't know he possessed.

Gerard refused to let his father win, especially now that he had escaped his abuse for good, so he couldn't ruin all of that by giving in to the despair that constantly clutched at his heart.

But on a particularly bad day during which Pete was finally back at work - he had taken time off to stay with Gerard when the doctor recommended that he be kept under watch, but he only had so much vacation time to spare - Gerard found his mind spiraling into dangerous territory.

But instead of repeating his actions from the other week, Gerard pulled out his phone, dialing Frank's number which he had already memorized, courtesy of staring at his blocky handwriting for much longer than he would ever admit to anyone.

Gerard actually gasped when someone picked up on the third ring, because no matter how honest Frank had seemed at the time, he hadn't been sure if he was serious about Gerard reaching out to him, but there was no denying his promise now that his familiar voice was filling Gerard's ears.

"Gerard - hi," Frank gasped, sounding slightly out of breath as if he had sprinted over to the phone, or maybe he had just been working out beforehand.

"How did you know it was me?" Gerard asked shyly, because he didn't remember sharing his information with Frank, not that he minded at all, he actually liked the way his name sounded falling from Frank's lips.

"I - uh...I asked Pete to give your number to me, just so I would know when it was you calling. I set it to a special ringtone and everything," Frank stammered out, embarrassment staining his tone a faint orange shade, which for some reason Gerard found adorable.

"Oh, that's...really nice." Gerard blushed heavily, grateful that Frank couldn't see his red cheeks through the phone line. "I hope I'm not bothering you," Gerard added on, unsure of how to maintain a conversation with someone who wasn't Pete, but he also knew he wanted to try.

"Of course not, I was just doing homework, _well_ \- more like watching Family Guy and maybe knocking out one problem an hour," Frank answered sheepishly.

"Oh yeah...you are going to law school right? Pete mentioned it," Gerard asked, even though he knew the answer to his question already.

He may or may not have pestered Pete about Frank once they had returned home from the hospital, learning that Frank and Pete were childhood friends that were still close, but Frank was attending college in New York at the moment, which was why Gerard hadn't seen him around before.

"Yep, I like the idea of being a lawyer, just not all the work that goes with it, but I'm getting close to graduating, so it will all be worth it in the end."

"I bet you will make a fantastic lawyer," Gerard murmured, although it was hard to picture Frank in a suit without his lip ring, even if Gerard had only seen him once in person.

"I hope so," Frank sighed, a soft _'oomph'_ emitting from down the line, leading Gerard to believe that Frank had thrown himself down onto a couch or some other similar surface. "So...you doing okay?" Frank questioned tentatively, his inquiry causing Gerard to inhale shakily.

He had almost managed to forget the reason he had called Frank in the first place, but now the heaviness that had been smothering him earlier was coming back.

"I - I guess I'm just sad," Gerard mumbled softly, because that was really it.

Nothing had happened today to make Gerard feel this way, he had simply opened his eyes and wished that he never had to do that again.

"Well I'm glad you called me," Frank hummed, his voice soothing Gerard instantly although he hadn't said anything particularly comforting. "Do you want to talk about what's bothering you, or would you rather I distract you?"

"Distract me please?" Gerard whimpered, curling up on the bed with the phone firmly pressed against his ear.

"Will do."

Frank seemed ecstatic, like there was nothing he would rather be doing than sharing in pointless small talk with Gerard, and that was exactly what they did, spending the next three hours chatting about everything and anything until Gerard ended up falling asleep on the line with Frank humming a random tune in the background.

~~~

"Pete...I think I like Frank," Gerard announced one day out of the blue, causing Pete to nearly choke on the pizza he had been chewing beforehand.

Once Pete had swallowed the rest of his food without dying, he began to laugh, confusing Gerard with his odd reaction. He didn't seem upset at the very least, which Gerard had been afraid would happen when he finally confessed to his long-term crush on Pete's best friend.

"I know," Pete finally wheezed out, wiping his eyes dramatically in the process. "He's basically all you have been talking about for the past four months."

"That's not true," Gerard mumbled sullenly, even though it sort of _was_ , but he couldn't help it that Frank was so interesting, or that he seemed like the only thing that could convince Gerard to get out of bed in the morning some days.

Gerard never thought he would actually be able to find someone that captured his attention, his fear of people in general usually saw to that, but Frank was different - he was _special_.

He was so kind to Gerard, even though he had no reason to be, and he always made time for him, no matter how early or late it was. He even went out of his way to hang out with Gerard during his visits, spending the majority of his weekend at home with Gerard instead of with Pete, the person he had supposedly come to see.

"It's okay Gee, he likes you too," Pete chuckled, apparently finding this entire situation hilarious for some reason that Gerard couldn't understand.

"He does?" Gerard exclaimed once Pete's words had sunk in, his body leaning across the table eagerly as Pete continued to shake with laughter, because this was news to Gerard.

Before today, he hadn't even been sure if Frank liked boys, and he had been too terrified to try and pry into his sexuality, no matter how badly he had been dying to know.

"Yes - I don't know how you haven't noticed. Nobody stays up until two in the morning talking to someone on the phone unless they have some sort of feelings for them."

"Oh - _well_...what do I do now?" Gerard questioned, unsure of how to proceed since he had never had a real boyfriend before, if Frank would even want to be his that is.

"You tell him how you feel," Pete scoffed, rolling his eyes affectionately in Gerard's direction as he spoke. "He's coming back to Jersey for the summer soon, so that would be a good time to do it."

"I - I'm scared," Gerard admitted softly, because even if Pete swore that Frank was attracted to him, that didn't mean that everything would simply fall into place.

Gerard had learned from experience that things rarely worked out in his favor, so why would this be any different?

"Well don't be, because Frank is fucking head over heels for you, he pretty much has been since day one, but _uh_..." Pete paused for a moment, biting at his bottom lip before continuing warily. "You should know something about Frank though, and it's not _bad_ , but it might freak you out a little bit."

"What?" Gerard questioned fearfully, his mind instantly jumping to worst case scenarios involving Frank actually being a serial killer or something like that.

"Frank doesn't really do normal relationships, he... _fuck_ \- I don't know how else to say this, but basically...Frank is a dominant, and he expects his partner to be his submissive."

"Like...a slave sort of thing?" Gerard squeaked, his dreams of a perfect relationship with Frank quickly going up in smoke when he pictured himself kneeling at Frank's feet in a leather outfit, which was his first thought when he heard the words dominant and submissive.

"No...it's hard to explain, but there are a lot of types of dom/sub relationships, and Frank is pretty low-key compared to the stuff you are probably thinking of. He does need to have control, and he has a few other rules I can't remember. You should talk to him though, because he really likes you, and I'm sure he would be willing to compromise on a lot of things if you gave him a chance."

"What if he wants to hit me?" Gerard shuddered as he voiced the question, because he was pretty sure that dominants were into causing their submissive pain, and no matter how much Gerard wanted to be with Frank, that was something he just couldn't do.

"He won't, not if you tell him that is a limit for you," Pete reassured Gerard, but it did nothing to stop the trembling that had suddenly taken over his limbs. "Gee, don't freak out okay. Maybe just do some research on it before you make your decision? It's nothing like the way porn portrays it, but if it's not your thing, that's fine too. I didn't tell you to make you upset, I just wanted you to know before you got too attached."

"I - okay, I'll do that," Gerard nodded, finally managing to quell his tremors by imagining what it would be like to be Frank's boyfriend, pushing all thoughts of being submissive out of his mind until he learned more about the terrifying subject.

~~~

After an extensive amount of browsing the Internet which was Gerard's only outlet in which to learn more about this lifestyle that Frank seemed to enjoy, Gerard found that his initial assumption of a dom/sub relationship had been off the mark.

From what Pete had explained to him, Frank wasn't into BDSM, which was what caused spikes of fear to bubble in Gerard's belly, he simply wanted a relationship where he was the dominant partner, and from what Gerard could tell, his other half relied on him for almost everything, which actually sounded pretty perfect in Gerard's opinion.

Dominants cared for their submissive in all things, and _yes_ \- sometimes they punished them, but it wasn't for no reason or on a whim, and if Gerard learned how to properly please Frank, he wouldn't have to risk such things.

Gerard wanted to make Frank happy - more than _anything_ , but he was still slightly afraid that this entire thing might be too much for him to handle.

But Frank was coming home today, and Gerard was going to talk to him about it, he had to before he exploded. He had read every article he could find on the subject, but now he had to hear how Frank chose to interpret it before he made the decision to try this or not, if Frank would even want him as his submissive that is.

Gerard had yet to specifically tell Frank he liked him in so many words, but he had become much more open with the older man, as well as making an effort to flirt with him as much as he knew how, and Frank had reciprocated instantly.

He had taken to calling Gerard _'baby'_ often, which always caused Gerard's heart to race in his chest whenever the term was used, and even Gerard was beginning to believe that Frank was developing feelings for him.

Gerard had also gone so far as to tell Frank things he would rather never speak of again, relating to him all of the details about his past late one night after being awoken by a nightmare that he couldn't seem to shake, including his father's neglect, and the beatings, about how Pete had helped saved him from the man who had hurt him for so long, mentioning that he still felt broken, as if he didn't belong in the world, which was why he had attempted to end his life on the first day they had met.

Frank listened to every word silently until Gerard had talked himself empty, but instead of replying with halfhearted _'I'm sorry's'_ that meant nothing in the long run, he actually thought over what he wanted to say, coming to the conclusion that Gerard was struggling so much with being an adult out on his own because he had never gotten the chance to properly grow up.

Frank told Gerard that what he was experiencing was totally normal, because in a way, he had spent the entirety of his life surviving, not learning, not slowly changing into the man he was supposed to be.

His father hadn't provided him with the foundation he needed to stand on, so now he was left on shaky ground, but Frank was convinced that Gerard could make it stable once more, it would just take time and help.

His analysis put Gerard's despair into coherent words that even Gerard hadn't been able to formulate, and for once, Gerard felt as if someone truly understood what he was struggling with.

Gerard still had bad days, but he never again tried anything harmful against his person - he _couldn't_ , because every time he stared at a bottle of pills, or even a shaving razor, he could audibly hear Frank's voice in his head.

He had originally resisted to prove his father wrong, but now he was imbued with a new desire which was to make Frank proud of him, to show him that he could be the sort of person that Frank might want to date.

And along the way, Gerard found pride in himself as well, because he was stronger than he believed, and as time passed, he began to remember what it felt like to be truly happy.

~~~

Gerard surprised both Frank and himself by practically attacking the older boy in a hug when he caught sight of him standing outside their apartment door later that afternoon, wrapping his arms tightly around his friend even though he usually disliked any sort of physical contact, but it was different with Frank, _everything_ was different with Frank.

"Hi," Gerard mumbled happily, his head burying itself into the spot in between Frank's shoulder and neck that seemed to be made just for him.

"Hi yourself cutie," Frank giggled in reply, his face stretching into a wide grin when Gerard pulled away sheepishly. The expression filled Gerard with a warmth that couldn't compare to anything else, not skype, not their phone calls, _nothing_ beat this.

"Pete's not home yet," Gerard spoke up when Frank didn't say anything else, "he said maybe another hour or so I think."

"I know, but I wanted to see you, maybe take you out for some coffee if you are feeling up to it?" Frank beamed hopefully, glancing down at Gerard's hand until Gerard found the courage to open his palm, letting Frank link their fingers together before pulling him down the rickety stairs with a spring in his step.

~~~

Gerard was practically buzzing with nerves as he sipped on his cup of coffee, the caffeine probably not the best thing for him to be consuming in his agitated state, but he needed something to do with his mouth while he tried to decide how to admit his hidden feelings.

Luckily for him, Frank seemed to sense his anxiety, and somehow he also managed to accurately decipher the cause of it.

"Hey Gee, you know I like you a lot right...like as more than a friend," Frank spoke up slowly, his posture stiffening as he waited for Gerard to say something in response.

"I like you too - like... _a lot_ ," Gerard chuckled softly, his hand sneaking under the table so he could recapture Frank's fingers with his own, loving the feeling of Frank's warm skin pressed against his own in such an innocent fashion.

"And I'm aware that Pete spoke with you about my slightly different lifestyle?" Frank continued warily, his thumb running over Gerard's knuckles in a soothing gesture that had Gerard instantly relaxing, his cup of coffee long forgotten by this point.

"Yeah...he did," Gerard admitted, blushing slightly in embarrassment as he answered.

He hadn't known that Frank had been aware of that particular conversation, but he shouldn't have been surprised. Frank and Pete were best friends after all, and Pete most likely wouldn't have revealed such personal details about Frank without getting his approval first.

"How do you feel about maybe trying to be my submissive?" Frank prodded when Gerard said nothing else. "I would walk you through everything of course, and there is no set rules. I start fresh with each new submissive, and I would never do anything to make you uncomfortable of course. I just - I _really_ like you Gerard, and I'll do anything to make this work, but if it's too much for you, then I understand."

"I did a lot of research about the topic," Gerard whispered softly. He was a bit uncomfortable discussing this sort of thing in a public place, but the coffee shop was lightly inhabited, so Gerard pressed onward bravely. "It doesn't sound that bad, and Pete told me that you don't...that you wouldn't..." Gerard stammered nervously, not wanting to make any assumptions regarding what Frank would and wouldn't do without hearing it from his own lips, but he was also unsure of how to broach the sensitive subject.

"Hit you?" Frank finished for him, his lips pulling together in a firm line of distaste.

"Yeah," Gerard exhaled sharply.

"I wouldn't, I swear on my life. I know this sort of relationship has gotten a bad reputation, but I don't get pleasure out of causing my subs pain. I do use punishments if they deserve them, but they can be any number of things, and I would find a method that would work for you without touching you in any way," Frank explained passionately, his eyes practically sparkling with hope as Gerard sighed in relief at his words.

"What would it mean if I said yes?" Gerard forced himself to ask, although all he wanted to do was tell Frank he would like nothing more than to be his boyfriend, submissive or not, but he had to make sure that he wouldn't instantly regret his decision by jumping into something that wasn't for him. "I've never even been in a relationship before, so this is all new to me."

"Well we would start slow in the beginning, I would ease you into the lifestyle, and any time you feel uneasy or afraid, we would talk about it until we reach a conclusion that works for the both of us. There aren't any specific guidelines besides the fact that you will defer to me in all things, but the main component is _trust_. You need to have faith in me and the fact that I can provide for you, that I can take care of you, and that I will know what you want even when you don't. I will typically make decisions involving most things between the two of us, but you are always free to speak up if you don't agree. You aren't a slave - _in fact_ , you carry more power than I do, because if you aren't happy, then neither am I."

"That's it?" Gerard gasped in surprise, because that sort of lifestyle sounded wonderful.

He hated having to figure things out for himself, to have to struggle through each day with no idea if what he was doing was the best thing for him, but if Frank wanted to take those pressures away from him, Gerard would give that responsibility to Frank in a heartbeat.

"Well there is a bit more, but it will all come with time. I would like for you to move in with me if this works out for the two of us, but we have the whole summer to decide on that, and...I do like certain things in the bedroom, specifically tying up my subs, but once again, if that doesn't work for you, it's off the table. I just - _fuck_...I would do anything to be able to call you mine, you just have to give me a chance."

"I - yeah... _fuck_ , I want to be with you Frank, and I am more than willing to try this, as long as you will be patient with me."

"Can I kiss you?" Frank asked excitedly, his expression happier than Gerard had ever seen it before.

"Please?" Gerard grinned, his body automatically tilting forward as Frank placed a gentle hand on the back of his neck, drawing their faces closer together until their lips were touching, and even though this wasn't Gerard's first kiss, it still felt like it.

Gerard gasped into Frank's mouth as a myriad of confusing sensations overwhelmed him, a glittering explosion of joy, adoration, want, and something that might have been the beginnings of love pulsing through Gerard's bloodstream as Frank continued to kiss him softly.

In that moment, Gerard knew he would do anything to be able to experience more of this, even if he was still slightly nervous, but now he was assured that Frank would never hurt him - _actually_ , he had known that all along.

Frank wasn't his father, so for once, Gerard was going to take a risk and open his heart up to someone, and he could think of no one else besides Frank that he would rather do this for.

~~~

Everything wasn't perfect from that point onward, but Gerard hadn't expected it to be easy, despite Frank's patience with him.

Gerard struggled with certain things, but not the areas in which Frank had assumed he would, leaving a difficult period of adjustment to follow after the two of them decided to pursue a relationship.

Gerard wanted to please Frank in every way possible, including sex, although he was a virgin, and he was woefully innocent when it came to all things seduction related, but he feared that Frank would become bored with him if he didn't put out.

He should have known better though, and Frank quickly shut down Gerard's desire to jump straight into sex, holding to his earlier promise to take things slow, which Gerard was very grateful for in the end.

Their first few weeks were spent getting to know each other better. Frank insisted that he wouldn't be able to properly take his role as Gerard's dominant until he knew every in and out of Gerard, so they acted like a normal couple for a short time, going out on movie dates, cuddling on the couch while sharing secrets, kissing whenever the urge overtook them, and Gerard fell for Frank more and more with every passing day.

Finally, when Gerard swore he was ready, they began transitioning into the type of relationship that Frank was more accustomed to, and much to Gerard's surprise, he fell into the role of a submissive easily, as if he was made to be one, but it was only with Frank's help that he had discovered this need to please someone in order to find his own happiness.

Gerard did choose to return to New York with Frank once the summer had ended, sharing a teary goodbye with Pete after promising to visit as often as he could, because as much as he cared for Frank, Pete would always mean something to him - not romantically, but he had saved his life so many times, and Gerard would never be able to repay him for everything he had done for him.

Living with Frank was _wonderful_ though, there was no other word for it. Per Frank's insistence, he didn't have to worry about paying rent, which apparently his parents still covered for him since they were quite well off, and he didn't push Gerard to get a job either.

In fact, he encouraged Gerard to discover what he loved before considering any kind of career, promising him that he would never have to do anything he didn't want to do, but now Gerard just had to figure out exactly what his passion was, which was easier said than done.

At first, Gerard quickly became bored, because Frank had a large work load, and although he always made time for Gerard, he had to maintain his grades as well, leaving Gerard with nothing to do besides try and stay out of Frank's way while he studied, so after a few weeks, Gerard took Frank's advice, attempting to find some sort of hobby that would occupy his attention while Frank was busy.

Gerard struggled with that task, because he didn't seem to be good at anything. He couldn't draw, he didn't play any instruments, he didn't like to garden, or to read that much, but one day when he was messing around in the kitchen in the hopes of finding something to eat, he decided to actually cook for once, and he found an uncanny sense of joy that he only experienced around Frank as he dug through the untouched cookbooks that Frank never used.

Once he managed to create a decently delicious pasta dish, he was filled with pride, because even if it was only a meal, he had _made_ something, and Gerard knew then and there that he had found his calling.

Frank was ecstatic at his revelation, asking Gerard to cook for him more and more, always complimenting Gerard's new recipes, even when they didn't turn out exactly how he had hoped. Frank offered to send Gerard to culinary school if he so desired, but he declined for the time being, not wanting to lose his newfound love of cooking by adding the stress of classes and coursework to his life just yet.

It wasn't long after that when Gerard lost his virginity to Frank, his small successes in discovering who he was filling him with the confidence to give himself to Frank entirely, and this time, Frank didn't stop him.

Gerard was still slightly apprehensive about having sex, even though they had done everything but over the past few months, but Frank was amazing the entire time, making sure Gerard was comfortable every step of the way.

It was perfect in Gerard's opinion, and the night ended with Gerard muttering his first audible _'I love you'_ to Frank as a few tears rolled down his face while they were cuddled up together, the words emerging in a choked fashion as Frank pulled Gerard against his chest, dragging his mouth in for a heated kiss before returning the sentiment in a hushed whisper.

From then on, Gerard wasn't afraid anymore, and he found himself wanting to submit to Frank in everything while still standing up for himself in the few instances where he felt uneasy.

Gerard begged Frank to try new things with him in the bedroom, and he discovered his love of being tied up, because he trusted Frank enough to give up his mobility to him, and he also developed a bit of a biting kink, but true to his word, Frank never once hit him, even when Gerard reached the point where he might have been willing to attempt it if Frank had asked it of him.

Frank did have to punish him from time to time, but not for disobeying him, which Gerard rarely did, but for being unkind to himself.

Gerard still had some days where he struggled with his past, and Frank could sense it, knowing when Gerard was drinking to hide his pain instead of turning to Frank with it, or instantly sensing when Gerard would lie with a muttered _'I'm fine'_ when he was anything but, and although Frank explained that it was normal to still feel sad every now and then, he refused to let Gerard hide it from him.

It was only on occasions such as these when Frank would feel that he had to step in so Gerard learned that his evasive behavior wouldn't be tolerated, typically choosing to use the cold shoulder as his go-to method, because there was nothing worse to Gerard than when Frank ignored him, and he quickly grew out of all his bad habits that he had picked up over the years with Frank's help.

Frank was the epitome of a perfect dominant, knowing exactly what Gerard wanted without having to ask, always reading him like a book, even if Gerard did something as simple as sigh quietly.

Gerard loved being able to place faith in someone enough to know that they would take care of him without having to worry about everything, and even though he had never imagined a relationship like this could truly exist, it _did_ \- Frank and Gerard were living proof of that, and now here they were almost a year later, happier than ever and still head over heels in love.

~~~

The sound of the shower cutting off snapped Gerard out of his reminiscent state, because right now, he wanted to live in the present, which involved a freshly cleaned Frank who was going to be expecting Gerard upstairs at any moment.

So with one last shake of his head, Gerard hurried into their shared bedroom, stripping off his clothes once the door was closed behind him, knowing Frank always got impatient when he had to remove them himself.

Frank grinned as soon as he spied Gerard waiting for him on the bed, quickly shedding his towel before joining his boyfriend on the mattress eagerly, his eyes raking over Gerard's naked skin in appreciation.

"So gorgeous baby, never gonna get tired of seeing you like this," Frank murmured lowly, his praise releasing small jolts of pure joy throughout Gerard's blood stream, the sensation only amplifying when Frank leaned down, pressing his warm lips against Gerard's mouth hungrily.

"Love you," Gerard whimpered when Frank pulled away briefly, needing to say the words aloud for some reason although he was well aware that Frank knew how much he cared for him.

"I love you too," Frank whispered reverently, his eyes lighting up as Gerard moaned softly in the back of his throat, the combination of Frank's naked body pressed against his and his declaration bringing him a sudden rush of pleasure that had his muscles quaking with need.

They didn't speak much after that, Frank's mouth was busy marking up Gerard's skin, which he loved more than he had originally thought he would. The purplish bruises his lips left behind always thrilled him when he spied them later on in the mirror, and Frank was more than happy to provide him with a plethora of them.

Gerard felt himself becoming pliant and relaxed under Frank's assault, his chest heaving lightly as Frank moved down toward his nipples, licking and sucking at the sensitive buds liberally as he hummed softly in appreciation.

His hands clenched into fists as his cock swelled rapidly, the heat pooling in his lower belly simmering as Frank's touch trailed lower, his palm grazing over Gerard's erection lazily, his lips tugging upward into a grin when Gerard hissed loudly.

"So responsive," Frank murmured happily, his gaze meeting Gerard's for a moment as he reached over to grab the bottle of lube out of the nearby dresser.

It had taken Gerard ages to become comfortable making noise in the bedroom, and Frank always made sure to compliment him when he allowed himself to let go.

"Need you," Gerard gasped out, his spine arching when Frank began rubbing one slick finger over his hole, not pushing it in yet like Gerard wanted him to, but giving him enough stimulation to have him breaking out in a light sweat.

"I know," Frank replied darkly, his pupils dilating widely as he stared down at Gerard's entrance, watching as he pushed two digits inside at the same time.

Gerard's muscles instantly accepted the intrusion, the slight sting he felt at being stretched so suddenly was insignificant compared to the fullness that quickly followed.

Gerard whined harshly as Frank scissored his fingers widely, his eyes fluttering closed as his prostate was nudged occasionally. The feather light touches were quickly driving Gerard insane. His hips twitched up into the empty air in a pointless attempt at receiving some sort of friction, even though he knew he was going to be made to wait.

Frank didn't tease Gerard for much longer though, which he was very thankful for. He was still sufficiently stretched from last night when Frank had fucked him with a vibrator and then his cock straight after, so Frank's fingers were sort of unnecessary right now, but he wasn't going to argue with Frank. He always wanted to make sure that he wasn't going to hurt Gerard, and the gesture still touched him after all this time.

And even though Gerard had quickly grown to love their more risqué activities in the bedroom, there was something about doing it like this, with no toys or ropes involved that caused Gerard's heart to swell and his cock to ache, because this was _pure_ , just him and Frank.

Gerard never felt more loved than when Frank lost himself inside his body, when all he wanted was Gerard naked and desiring him, his eyes gleaming with adoration and affection as he took care of Gerard in a way that no one else ever could.

"Spread your legs wider honey," Frank prompted as he pulled out his fingers, wiping them hastily on the sheets before squirting more lube into his palm, wrapping his hand around his cock as Gerard did what he asked, bending his knees while pulling them closer to his chest, completely exposing himself to Frank in the process. "Yeah - _fuck_ ," Frank groaned lowly, his hips bucking forward into his fist as he gazed down at Gerard's trembling hole hungrily.

Gerard gasped softly as Frank ran his hands over his thighs, his fingers digging into the sensitive skin underneath them before lifting up one of his legs, setting it on his shoulder while pressing the head of his cock against Gerard's rim.

The heat emitting from both of their bodies caused Gerard to cry out desperately, his muscles shaking with anticipation as he waited as patiently as he could for Frank to finally push inside of him.

"God baby, so perfect," Frank choked out while gripping the base of his cock, his neck falling forward as Gerard tried his best to stay still, knowing Frank liked to set the pace, but it took all of the self-control he possessed not to shove back against Frank's cock.

The slowness of Frank's forward motion was torturing Gerard's already high-strung nerves, his body was aching with the need to come, but he would wait until Frank told him he was allowed to, he always did.

Frank glanced up quickly once his hips were flush when Gerard's ass, reading his body language before allowing his tense posture to relax. He tangled his hands in Gerard's dark hair as he dragged their mouths together for a messy, spit soaked kiss, his torso rubbing against Gerard's hard length as he groaned happily into Frank's lips.

"Please?" Gerard asked quietly when Frank pulled back for air, his swollen mouth and glazed eyes inciting a shiver of love twisted with lust to spool within him suddenly.

"I've got you baby," Frank replied, pulling himself out of Gerard almost all the way before shoving back in, releasing a pleased grunt from Gerard in the process.

As Frank increased his pace, Gerard hooked his other leg over Frank's shoulder, tilting his body upward so Frank could get that much deeper inside of him.

The new angle let Frank hit his prostate almost every time, each touch to the bundle of nerves inside of him causing Gerard's cock to leak heavily against his stomach, only his firm grip on the sheets preventing him for wrapping a hand around himself to alleviate some of the pressure in his belly.

Frank loved watching Gerard come untouched, so he refrained, instead, losing himself in the rhythm of Frank's thrusts, a plethora of obscene sounds escaping from his throat as Frank sped up his motions, knowing that Gerard needed more.

"Tell me when you're close," Frank ordered, his hands tracing over Gerard's heaving ribs lightly, pressing his fingers into the indents roughly when he nodded shakily in agreement.

Just when Gerard was about to speak up, warning Frank of his impending orgasm, Frank latched his arms under his back, pulling Gerard firmly into his lap without disconnecting their bodies. The new position pushed Frank impossibly deeper inside of Gerard, his entire body shaking as he cried out noisily, the intense pressure against his prostate putting the low burn in his stomach to a steaming boil.

"Gonna - _oh fuck_ , gonna come," Gerard whined loudly, rolling his hips back against Frank's cock greedily, his hands digging into Frank's shoulders as he bucked upward to meet him, nearly sending him shattering then and there.

"That's it baby, wanna feel you come around my cock," Frank growled, his arms tugging Gerard's waist down into his lap.

The harsh sound of skin slapping against skin filled Gerard's ears as every muscle in his body locked up, the need to let go overwhelming him, but it wasn't until Frank turned his head into Gerard's neck that he reached his tipping point.

The hot drag of Frank's tongue against his sweaty skin followed by his teeth biting down had Gerard practically sobbing into Frank's shoulder. It was too much for him to bear.

His spine jackknifed backward as he came heavily all over Frank's stomach, his vision whiting out at the edges as Frank continued to fuck him through his orgasm, his pleasure roughened voice whispering soft encouragements into Gerard's ear until he was empty.

" _Oh god_ ," Gerard whimpered, his body vibrating with oversensitivity as Frank continued to thrust up into him, the pain warring with the last spikes of pleasure that were still fizzling throughout his bloodstream.

But before the sensations could become too overwhelming, Frank was shouting hoarsely, his body stilling as he filled Gerard up, each hot spurt causing him to moan deeply, because there was just something about feeling Frank inside of him like this that Gerard would never get tired of.

Gerard practically collapsed in Frank's arms, the intensity of his orgasm weakening him to the point of immobility, a pleased hum rumbling through his chest as Frank laid him down gently, even though Gerard hated the empty ache that followed when Frank slipped out of him quickly.

Frank placed a soft kiss to his forehead as he stood up, his footsteps padding into the bathroom before he returned with a warm washcloth, pressing the fabric in between Gerard's thighs to catch the trails of come that were slowly leaking out of him.

Even the simple act of Frank cleaning him up had Gerard's heart fluttering in his chest wildly, because Frank had a way of making the most minute things hold a significance that they shouldn't have.

Everything Frank did made Gerard feel treasured, adored, but most of all _loved_. Gerard never thought he would experience something like this, and he knew he would always be grateful to Frank for showing him this sort of passion day in and day out, no matter how long they were together.

Frank had changed Gerard's entire world, he had repaired the damaged caused by his past, he hadn't given up on him, and even though Gerard knew he would most likely have been able to find a way to survive on his own if he had to, he felt that he owed Frank his life.

Without him, he would be living a miserable existence, but thanks to Frank, he woke up every morning with a smile on his face and a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach, which was more than Gerard had ever hoped for, but now he couldn't imagine living any other way.


End file.
